197965

Joke of the Day

"I couldn't decide whether or not to buy this new king sized mattress I'm going to sleep on it."

"Just my luck... ""I sure do like your finger in my pussy, but your ring hurts."" ""Uh, I'm not wearing any rings. Baby, that's my wristwatch..."""

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"I call my penis the bogeyman.. Because it's the reason children cry at night."

"The Internet. The internet: Where Men are Men, Women are Women, and children are the FBI..."

"-I love you Juan. -I love you too bae , lets make love. -Im afraid. -But why bae? -what if I get pregnant? - I can promise you that wont happen Fernando."

"What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged? Notice me sin() !!!"

"If people smoke cigarettes, what do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"[First day of dropping kids off at school] *Hugs and crying* [2nd day] ""Get out!"""

"What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce? A chicken ceaser salad."