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Joke of the Day

"Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about. It was just the start of China's two-child policy."

"Do seagulls ever wake up in the morning and take a moment to gather their thoughts, or do they just go straight into seagull stuff?"

"I tried learning trigonometry under the hot sun Only thing i got was a tan"

"You shouldn't trust dermatologists. They make a lot of rash decisions."

"So I just preordered a Jet Black IPhone.. Lol jk"

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk guy."

"How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?"

"If Microwaves were people... They would be your one friend who always runs into something or knocks something down when you're trying to sneak into the house at 3 am."

"I'm not gay... But I'm starting to get suspicious that my boyfriend may be! This one was dropped on me by my 10 y/o cousin yesterday."

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."