199038

Joke of the Day

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert? Lots of bad pickup lines."

"Nickelback's career is dead... They are more washed up than a Syrian toddler."

"Half of reddit is shut down. In unrelated news, productivity rises nation-wide"

"I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,"

"I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally."

"How Do We Know That Adam Wasn't Black? Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man?"

"When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!? Ah horse apples!"

"I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)"

"I used to be a People Person, but People ruined it for me!!!"