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Joke of the Day

"I was gonna say a gay joke Butt fuck it."

"[Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? ""MAY I use the bathroom"" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST"

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."

"Civilization is just one really long and annoying group project."

"There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own"

"What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint."

"I used to think I had an ass that prison inmates would die for, now, I don't know."

"A man and a woman walk into an elevator The man asks the woman, can I smell your feet? The woman looks at him with disgust and says no. The man says, it must be your vagina then."

"Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine."

"The national debt isn't the only thing that's rising."