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Joke of the Day

"LGBT Girl Scout Leader Arrested She was thrown in jail for eating Brownies."

"I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder. It came with rice and a salad."

"A masochist and a sadist are having an argument. The masochist says, ""Whip me! Whip me! Beat me! Beat me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? he drank his coffee before it was cool"

"How did Hitler like to have his juice in the morning? 100% concentrated."

"What's the difference between the government and your wife? The government enjoys fucking you Edit: phrasing courtesy of tefkasm"

"Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."

"Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease? Ones a cunning runt..."

"Why was the obtuse triangle upset? Because he is never right."