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Joke of the Day

"how to tell your girl shes getting fat (actual convo on valentines day with my girl) me-i love fruit, her-i love chips, me- you better start to love fruit or youl love handles"

"Don't judge if you don't know me. Unless you're making my pizza & you say ""This guy looks like he wants extra cheese"" then please do."

"Why can't America play chess? Because it's missing two towers."

"I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog and an empty gorilla enclosure... It was a shotzu."

"What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball."

"My roommate says that I'm hard to live with... Where does the arrogant bastard get off saying things like that, He muttered it under his breath in the shower... Son of a bitch."

"What kind of person is sexually excited from looking at young animals? A PETAphile."

"What brand of shoes do chickens wear? Reebok bok bok"

"Two Goldfish are in a tank and one says to the other, you drive, I'll fire the gun"

"PHP Dating Advice I had a date() with PHP and I had to mktime() for it."