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Joke of the Day

"What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut"

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""

"Tates Compass Company Like Congress, they don't work. He, who has a Tates, is lost."

"Finally found out why MTV doesn't do crossover episodes The FCC had some serious problems with ""Pimp my Pregnant 16 Year Old."""

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? an Investigator"

"Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich"

"I fell in love with a cannibal And then she stole my heart"

"It's difficult being a dyslexic agnostic I'm never quite sure whether or not there's a dog"

"My girlfriend wants a Christmas Gift she can wear... I'm going to give her a facial."

"I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book... Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost me a fortune in stamps."