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Joke of the Day

"Me and UFOS have something in common! Neither of us look good on camera."

"My cardio is mostly just running out of excuses not to exercise."

"Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they're dead."

"McDonald's Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug."

"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."

"What did Jimmy Carter say to Ronald Reagan? Let me Eat your Turds !! Lol !!"

"I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI... You might say we have a connection."

"What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application? There's no accounting for taste."

"""Ohhhh!! I didn't hear the 'lasting more than four hours' part. I'm sorry I called you at home, doctor."""

"I covered myself from head to toe in mirrors today. I don't really know why, maybe I'm just at that age where you do a lot of reflecting..."