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Joke of the Day

"My cardio is mostly just running out of excuses not to exercise."

"I always yell ""Cut!"" after I drop the soap in the shower because there's usually some Peeping Tom filming me & I want that part edited out."

"I'm at the phase of Christmas where I'm looking at stuff in my house and going ""I could just wrap that."""

"Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ..."

"What kind of church does a triangle attend? Anglican."

"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"

"A guy walks into a bar holding a pair of jumper cables He says, ""Hey bartender, can I get a drink over here?"" The bartender says, ""Alright, but don't go trying to start anything in here"""

"What do black people drink during the Holiday Season? Nignog"

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. It's okay though she said we could still be cousins!"

"I was going to tell a joke about a popular rock band, but.. I'm going to need A Day To Remember."