31510

Joke of the Day

"I covered myself from head to toe in mirrors today. I don't really know why, maybe I'm just at that age where you do a lot of reflecting..."

"I skipped leg day at the gym, but don't worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I'm good to go."

"""My pleasure, doll"" ""My pleasure doll"" Commas can make a world of difference..."

"A high-dea supported by evidence... Is called a High-pot-thesis"

"If your phone gets lost and a noble soul returns it to you.. Its time to change your phone."

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009"

"My doctor told me during my physical that I needed to stop masturbating When i asked him why, he said ""because I'm trying to give you a physical!"""

"I like my sex how I like my endoplasmic reticulum... Rough"

"Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences"