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Joke of the Day

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

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"Shoutout to sidewalks! For keeping me off the streets..."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ? Ammon old hand at picking locks !"
"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."
"Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine."
"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."
"This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice."
"Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says ""do not serve this woman""."
"Congratulations to Donald Trump winning the presidency... May his global impact be as tiny as his hands"
"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong"