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Joke of the Day

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

Next Joke
 
"I like my women the way I like my coffee. Tied up on the back of a donkey."
"What's E.T short for He's got little legs."
"[Bad] Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu? The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)"
"I started a cold air balloon business. I'm having trouble getting it off the ground."
"I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny."
"Finally figured out that 'YOLO' is 'carpe diem' in douchebag."
"I am not racist ... My shadow is black."
"What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut."
"Judge: I sentence you to life in prison Defendant: NOOOO MY ONLINE PRESENCE"