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Joke of the Day

"A man is complaining about his girlfriend in the late 17th century... Man: ""She's just a complete witch."" Not sure if it's an old joke, but I came up with this one at the bathroom."

"As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" No you sick fuck, I'm putting it up in the living room."

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because not many of them know how to dance."

"<- sleeps well with others"

"Knock knock Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Hammer. Person 2: Hammer what? Person 1: Hammertime! ^canttouchthis"

"Is it ok to sleep with a second cousin? It must be, because the first one didn't seem to mind."

"What do you call a fast, Spanish paedophile? Rapedo"

"Just seen Michael J Fox at the local Garden centre Well pretty sure it was him, he had his back to the fuchsias."

"Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place They thought he'd walk"

"Your momma is so fat She uses ""panorama"" mode for her selfies."