221985

Joke of the Day

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because not many of them know how to dance."

"Woman's world cup- USA vs JAPAN who gives a fuck..."

"*breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?"

"How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds? Marry her."

"Some days you're just really stupid. 365 to be exact."

"[goes back in time to murder baby Hitler] wow long line of people here to kill him [goes back to murder myself] how is this line even longer"

"I don't enjoy winning against The God of Thunder... He is always a Thor loser."

"Knock knock! Who's there? It's me."

"TIL the creator of the Hokey Pokey died last week. Planning his funeral went fine until it was time to put him in the casket. They put his left foot in and that's when the trouble started."

"I'm starting to think Twitter has nothing to do with birds."