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Joke of the Day

"As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" No you sick fuck, I'm putting it up in the living room."

"Back in LA who wants to make plans & cancel them & talk about rescheduling but never do then just like each other's FB post to keep it cool"

"With Airlines stocks having crashed. I can't decide between paying for two extra bags or buying half the company."

"Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs"

"Just heard Barrack Obama's main writer has been killed.. Sources reporting that he is currently speechless."

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Hello ladies."

"What is a runner's favourite subject in school ? Jog-raphy !"

"I don't like lollipop ladies... They make me cross."

"What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!"

"Where does Edgar Allen Poe get his mail? at his P.O. Box"