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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens."

"I think my girlfriend is starting to gain weight. She's starting to fit into my wife's clothes."

"My elephants got no trunk ? How does it smell ? Terrible !"

"Zayn is leaving 1D. BBC sacked Jeremy Clarkson... Imagine the headlines ""New Top Gear host Zayn Malik"" ... ""New One Direction member Jeremy Clarkson"" :D"

"What's the difference between justice and relevant ethnic groups in America? Justice isn't always black and white"

"Not only are all my tweets stolen, but so are all my thoughts. And everything I say. And my identity. And this baby."

"What's the difference between a Goodyear tire and 365 condoms? One is a Goodyear and one is a great year"

"ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done"

"Q: How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming? A: SPLAT!!! He didn't."

"The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again."