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Joke of the Day

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We don't address hardware issues."

"i would like it if batmans ears folded down when he got sad"

"I'm starting a firing squad business Our motto is ""we aim to please""."

"Some ascetics were headed into the forest to meditate and one shouts ""hey budd, you gonna come seek enlightenment with us?"" ""Namaste right here."""

"Can a kangaroo jump....? Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all."

"An excerpt from my self help book, ""How to Get Rich Quick"" Chapter 1: Write a self help book about how to get rich quick The End"

"Priest: Marriage lasts until death. You're not married in heaven. Me: Why not? Wife: Then we'd be in hell."

"If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships."

"40% of women in the world are battered... And I've been eating mine plain this whole time."

"These ebola jokes are terrible! They're making my eyes bleed"