164143

Joke of the Day

"Priest: Marriage lasts until death. You're not married in heaven. Me: Why not? Wife: Then we'd be in hell."

"Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em."

"I would like to work as a janitor in Microsoft. I could see myself excel in that job."

"How do you make an archeologist mad? Give them a bloody tampon and ask what period it's from"

"Q. What is eternity? A. When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!"

"Don't fret, I'll buy you a guitar, no strings attached. You might not want it because you're a little picky."

"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"

"I just can't stop making dad jokes! I don't know how much father I can go...."

"A whale is having a conversation with its son. Son: ""Hey Dad, where did I come from?"" Dad: ""From my dick, son"" Son: ""Uhhh, thanks?"" Dad: ""You're whalecum"""