34295

Joke of the Day

"""How much are these glasses?"" ""$150 sir"" ""I guess you could say"" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*"

"What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder? Spay it don't spray it."

"What do you call an overweight homosexual? Jigglypuff."

"a 3 year old daughter * her - will i have a baby in my belly some day? * her dad - if u want to.. * her - no, that place is for candies"

"What's the difference between Saddam Hussein and Sperm? One comes from Baghdad and the other ones comes from Dads bag."

"It's a 10 minute walk from my house to the bar. It is a 2 hour walk from the bar back to my house. It's so weird."

"THE WEEKND: I can't feel my face when I'm with you DENTIST (injecting novocaine): that's kinda the point dude"

"What is the most well educated type of nut? Macademia."

"Did you hear about the man who got AIDS? He was fucked."

"Kanye West was found alive in his apartment today. Another sad day for the music industry in 2016."