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Joke of the Day
"Ugh, who has time to work out?... I say before a 45 minute nap."
Next Joke
"A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair, and a table."
"Why are rubber tires black? So the police know what to shoot at during a chase"
"What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80"
"I bought a lamp stand from Ikea... the assistant asked me was I planning on putting it up myself. ""You dirty bastard"" I said, ""It's going in the living room"""
"Five years ago I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."
"Why Does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D-shells"
"Drummers always have such lame jokes... I've heard them all like a Zildjian times."
"Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar."