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Joke of the Day

"Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar."

"How do you stop the dog trying to hump your leg? Suck his dick."

"One of the guys I work with overdosed on Viagra. His wife's been taking it pretty hard."

"What do communists put in their soup? Soviet Onions."

"My neighbor said ""nice skirt"" so I said, ""thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime."""

"Did you hear about the movie ""Constipated"" ??? I heard it hasn't come out yet"

"Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea? It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make"

"Yesterday I went rollerblading, and I ran into batman. So I say ""Oy! Batman! Come skate with me! . . . "" But Batman just says ""I'M NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!"""

"Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane."

"What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles."