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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards"
Next Joke
"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"". Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""
"[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it's the right amount."
"Pot smokers like to say it's safe because it's natural. Other safe natural things include sunburn, poison ivy, and being eaten by a bear."
"Her:""my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid"" Me:""your car doesn't have blinker fluid."" Her:""I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"""
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween? I'll be Bach"
"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very small."
"Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout."
"You can't get AIDS from a toilet seat unless you sit down before the other guy gets up"
"Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead."