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Joke of the Day

"Really struggling on what to get my lady for Christmas this year. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarrassing"

"Thomas Jefferson's dad's name was Thomas Jefferdad. Really makes you think"

"Of all the millions of candidates in history, it figures that Hitler would be the one to keep his campaign promises."

"Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle."

"Why do black people have white palms? Because everyone has a little bit of good in them."

"""I should probably start filling this thing out."" -I say about my son's baby memory book on his wedding day."

"What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time? Stamps!"

"What do you call someone who knows all? Nostril-damus. &nbsp; Works better if you read the joke out loud."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from."

"How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!"