194301

Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who speaks only one language? An American."

"ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]"

"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""

"Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines? The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way."

"How can you tell who's the head nurse at a hospital? It's the one who has knee pads on."

"What's the difference between a white story and a black story? A white story starts with ""Once Apon a Time"" and a black story starts with ""Y'all ain't gonna believe this"""

"What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas? Presence"

"Someone asked me the other day, ""What's with those clogs you keep wearing?"" I replied, ""Wooden shoe like to know."""

"Partied so hard last night I spilled Kool-Aide on my cocaine Punchline"

"Almost had a threeseom. All i needed was 2 more girls."