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Joke of the Day

"When I see a couple and the women's pregnant. I always walk up and YELL ""why don't you tell him who is really the father."" and walk away"

"[talking with ex] Me: Is he more boring than me? Her: He is. Me: *devastated* How could you?"

"What did the farmer say to the chocolate cow? Get to the back of the meat grinder!"

"COP: Damn I left my regular handcuffs at home, all I have is these candy handcuffs. I trust that u won't eat ur way out of these CROOK: Sure"

"Today a guest asked if we sold leggings for dogs (I'm not even kidding, this was a real request) I guess he owns a basic bitch"

"Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I'll paint your ceiling. *To himself* Errybody gon be naked tho."

"British English will have only 3 vowels now A I O They left E U"

"I'm dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She's not half-bad."

"How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome? You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home."

"New dating app for German Catholic Priests Kinder"