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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to ""watch a movie"" is actually watching a movie."

"I took a Viagra the other day and it got stuck in my throat... I had a stiff neck all day."

"I told a blonde joke She didn't get it."

"I don't know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse."

"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."

"What sort of shoes to ninjas wear? Sneakers."

"If I stalked you any harder, you'd be a missing person."

"What do you call a pretzel that got his ass kicked? A salted pretzel"

"Heard about the girl who took a contraceptive pill with pond water? Last I heard, she was three months stagnant."

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!"