169143

Joke of the Day

"Heard about the girl who took a contraceptive pill with pond water? Last I heard, she was three months stagnant."

"What do you call cows with 2 legs? Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs? Ground beef."

"Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he's not much of a looker."

"A man gives his wife a glass of water and two aspirin His wife says, ""What are these for? I don't have a headache."" The man replies, ""Great! Let's f***!"""

"Are they REALLY going to let GAYS play sports?!? What's next? EQUALITY? WOMEN VOTERS? WILL THIS EVER END? #romney2012"

"There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where they can take it back. Win-win."

"Two submissives sitting in a tree. N O T H I N G"

"Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while."

"""Are you from Cincinnati?"" ""No. Bosboston."""

"Today, I'm gonna dig up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy's gotten."