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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a black man and a white man in the US? A white man makes it to prison."

"I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle."

"I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!"

"Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*"

"TIL Diarrhea is hereditary It runs in your jeans"

"How can you tell if a groom is Polish? He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish? You give her a test-tickle."

"guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015."

"Peanuts HEY THERE SO TWO PEANUTS ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, AND ONE WAS ASSAULTED. http://www.masterpiecepumpkins.com/Graphics/RodneyDangerfield%20%20_orig.jpg"

"I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."