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Joke of the Day

"I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle."

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"USA has Democracy, Syria has Autocracy, Iran has Theocracy, and Britain has... Pedocracy."
"Sometimes it looks like I'm flashing gang signs, but really I'm just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand."
"A Little Chemistry Humor Before Finals *Billy was a chemist's son, but now he is no more; what he thought was H2O was H2SO4, hey! *Singing it is more fun"
"Wondering when Oceans 14 is coming out? It already did, it's called ""The Hobbit""."
"How do you know you are at r/jokes? The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science"
"Kid: What's a man? Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom"
"if you stabbed me i would probably bleed pizza sauce."
"I bought a dog from a blacksmith ..... As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door."
"Do you smoke... The Lady asked,"" Do you Smoke after Sex?"" I said,"" My gosh I never Looked!!!"""