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Joke of the Day

"TIL Diarrhea is hereditary It runs in your jeans"

"Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator."

"Dont eat yourself A woman: She is eating dinner and she accidentally bites her lip. A man: Your not suppose to eat yourself. The woman: Well that's your job"

"*weighs self* ""Shit"" *takes clothes off* ""GODDAMMIT"" *takes tampon out*"

"Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers. Lesson: If you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning."

"This stupid farmers market doesn't have any locally grown pizza."

"Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still."

"The girl working at Best Buy saw me checking her out. She walked up and asked me ""Do you need help?"" I replied ""No, I am just looking."""

"Christian Mingle: Find God's match for you. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways. Like setting up a website for his people to hook up."

"I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you're mistaken ...its pronounced sexy."