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Joke of the Day

"Dear millionaires, If you don't have a bookcase that spins into a secret room then give your money to me because you're spending it wrong."

"French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat! Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage."

"I owe my love of bukkake all to my dad When I was a child, he really rubbed off on me."

"If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour."

"A blind judge conducted a trial.. And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant. he couldn't see the truth."

"it's easy as pie! 'what does that even mean?' *pie stumbles in drunk* pie: i just had sex with the homeless guy under the bridge 'oh'"

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"OJ's son must have been the murderer.... ... because when he went to OJ that night to borrow his car keys, OJ said, ""..go aXe your mother"""

"What starts with ""W"" and ends with ""ife""? Nevermind, this riddle is too easy."

"[2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)"