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Joke of the Day

"My circumcision left me quite sore. I couldn't walk for two whole years!"

"A motorist ran into a shop. ""Do you own a black and white cat?"" he asked. ""No"" replied the manager. ""Oh dear"" said the motorist ""I must have run over a nun."""

"The term ""Every 60 second in Africa..."" is stupid Everyone knows Africains don't get seconds. They're lucky if they get a single serving."

"A security camera caught a couple having sex in an elevator. .... They got off on the eighth floor.... then they straightened their clothing and exited the elevator on the 14th floor."

"When you're addicted to keyboard shortcuts It might start off with just copying and pasting, but once you get into underlining it really starts to control you."

"I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me."

"Did ya hear about the guy who got his hand caught in the printing press? He's in all the papers. ...Ba-dum bum"

"It's Friday night, you know what that means! I'm going to get loaded and tweet a bunch of stupid shit and then delete it all tomorrow. Yay!"

"I saw a sign yesterday that said ""watch for children"" I thought it was a good trade"

"My cooking show would just be an hour of me looking for Tupperware lids."