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Joke of the Day

"It's Friday night, you know what that means! I'm going to get loaded and tweet a bunch of stupid shit and then delete it all tomorrow. Yay!"

"How do you start a racist joke? With a look over your shoulder."

"How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear? Color coded: ""Yellow in front, brown in the back"""

"What's the best part of having Alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday!"

"What do you call a fish that takes a selfie? Selfish"

"Why did the paedophilic bestialist not answer his name? Because he was feeling a little horse."

"Marriage Tip: Try not to leave a footprint on your spouse's ass as they get out of the car when you drop them at the airport."

"Did you hear about the Italian husband who was talking during his sleep? He ended up giving his wife a black eye"

"I was in a relationship with a chimera, but it got weird. She wouldn't stop calling me ""daddy""."

"Paris Hilton is suddenly a DJ? Well. Then I'm a dragon."