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Joke of the Day

"A Russian teaching his son the spelling of assassination One ass behind another ass, behind that I, and behind me the whole nation."

"From my 7yo: ""Why did the moon marry the sun?"" Because the sun is hott."

"People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel."

"The penis is a really strong organ... ... because it can take a beating"

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? nobody ever changed that light bulb because we are to fat and lazy to do it"

"My wife and I were happy for 25 years Then we met."

"Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to spank their kids. Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay."

"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."

"After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t."

"Have you heard about the stolen shipment of viagra? Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals"