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Joke of the Day

"I was going down in a girl and said ""you've got a massive vagina vagina"" She said ""you didn't have to say it twice"" I said "" I didn't didn't"""

"My girlfriend just told me to get rid of my boner... I couldn't because it's hard."

"Standing on a corner waving an advertisement sign is a sweet job, but probably unnerving knowing you could be replaced anytime with a stick."

"A math joke I'll tell you in a 1/cos"

"When women cry, their faces look like half-chewed Starbursts."

"I became a victim of my own crime, I just sat on a toilet seat after I left the lid up"

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite instrument to play? His whore Monica."

"Need relationship advice! I'm trying to get my wife into role playing but she gets really upset when I suggest she be played by Emma Stone."

"A guy calls 911 and says someone dropped a box on his head Dispatcher: ""Is it empty?"" Guy: ""Yes it is"" Dispatcher: ""How about the box?"" (my dad told me this yesterday)"

"I like my sex just like my wifi.. I like my sex just like my wifi, slow and unprotected."