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Joke of the Day

"There's been lots of ""OH MY GOD!"" screams coming from the room opposite mine; I just wish the couple in there didn't pick now to be praying."

"As a kid I'd watch Price is Right and think ha that sucks he won furniture. Now I'm like, wow I can really use a new bedroom set."

"All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme."

"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"

"my last words when I die will be See you later.....maan."

"How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant? When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked."

"What do you call 2 doctors walking together? Pair-o-Medics"

"I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined"

"Hey dad I'm tired! There's a nap for that. :)"

"At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the ""I have a PhD"" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye."