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Joke of the Day

"Sources are saying Geno Smith threw the first punch but it landed a few yards short and was returned for a touchdown."

"In this day and age, the closest most of us will get to finding happiness is free wifi and an economy-sized tub of Nutella."

"Can you smell mothballs? I can't. I can never get their legs far enough apart."

"There are two kinds of countries in this world. Those who use the metric system. And those who have landed a man on the moon."

"The following is an actual question given on a Yale university chemistry final exam"

"The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest."

"What does a ghost drink? Boo's."

"DRUG DEALER: what'll it be man ME: *wearing a wire* some drugs please [at the surveillance van] DEA AGENT: did he just say some drugs"

"How many girls does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, you tell me."

"Hey nice try, people named Tristan. Or I should say Stan Stan Stan."