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Joke of the Day

"What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ? Mesquite squite squite. ...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked."

"My father was a nun. Whenever he was up in court and the judge asked ""occupation"", he'd say ""none"". (From Blackadder Goes Forth, is this still eligible for /r/jokes?)"

"""Why did you dry these grapes?"" ""No raisin"""

"pedophiles are the worst but a close runner-up would be the people who don't get excited when they win stuff on the radio"

"My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full."

"People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient."

"What do bats eat that makes their shit our standard for crazy?"

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"By putting the punchline in the title. How do you trick a bunch of Internet nerds into thinking you are a scumbag reposter?"

"HOT local grizzly bears dying to eat YOU!"