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Joke of the Day

"My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full."

"Why did the brother octopi look so alike? They were itentacle twins."

"If I were Santa Claus, I'd have my agent be like ""He's not doing it this year if Ronald McDonald is going to be there in that shoe car."""

"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""

"What disease do Spartans get the most? Leon-itis."

"Money's short"

"When life hands you lemons, help me throw them at the kids on my lawn."

"We don't need a girlfriend... Our assignments irritates us everyday... that's enough!!"

"What's the hardest thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Here's a UPS joke Too late I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Will redeliver tomorrow. No, you can't come pick it up."