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Joke of the Day

"*camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* ""It was a... shoeishide"""

"The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline"

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"I decided I am going to be a virgin... so that I can set a good example for my children"

"Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men? He thought they were a delivery service"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't like coffee"

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb"

"Airport burritos. This could be bad news for the people on my next flight."

"What's worse than the Holocaust? Winning the jackpot in two separate lotteries at the same time."

"It funny that when it's black on white, it's a crime. When it it's white on black, it's a hate crime."