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Joke of the Day
"I decided I am going to be a virgin... so that I can set a good example for my children"
Next Joke
"You know what I hate the most about suspense?"
"Why don't Jewish men go down on their wife? Because it's too close to the gas chamber"
"[signing birth certificate] wife: you put Owen, right? me: yup nurse: Now we'll just need a footprint from little [reading] ""Owned"""
"How come there's a History Channel that tells us what happened but not a Future Channel that tells us what's about to happen? That's racist."
"[at Chinese restaurant] ""Hi I'll have a large goingon"" -What is goingon? ""Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"""
"they say running is addictive, that's why i don't do it, i'm afraid i'll end up in a fitness gym alley offering sex for treadmill time."
"Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter? The dishes if she knows whats good for her."
"What kind of fruit tells the best jokes? A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me."
"What do you call the stupidest fish in the sea? A dumb bass."