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Joke of the Day

"How can Donald Trump deport millions of illegal immigrants? By completely ignoring, these are only campaign promises."

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone."

"I spent the entire day hanging out at the swimming pool Until someone told me and I eventually tucked it back in."

"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."

"Do you know what you call a nickle and a penny? The Sixth Cents"

"Im not a lawyer But I do have a small private firm right now."

"Sayings always said with sarcasm. Any examples? I hate to say I told you so. No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so."

"Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes? Mosqui-toes."

"I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba."