8515

Joke of the Day

"Do you know what you call a nickle and a penny? The Sixth Cents"

"I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached."

"[Dumbledore gets hit with Avada Kedavra] HOUSE MD: I think he had lupus."

"My credit card number is 4339-8245... Wait. Is this Amazon?"

"I used to get my dad so angry as a kid. I knew that once he took that belt off there was nothing i could do... to keep him from shooting heroin"

"I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?"

"Did you hear about Michael Vicks new shoe contract? Hush Puppies."

"Pretty sure Craigslist is just a secret genetics lab and they send out their failed experiments to come pick up the stuff you sell there."

"Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident? She got cut off by a dick."

"Finished christmas shopping for my entire family. *walks out of pharmacy*"