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Joke of the Day

"Please ignore this status..... I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting."

"Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don't sneak."

"If vaginas could only talk! Oh what a story men would still not listen to."

"I'm getting restraining orders against all the cops so I can do anything I want"

"How does a blacksmith know you farted? He smelt it"

"What's the difference between a Redditor, Marilyn Monroe, Melania Trump, and Lee Harvey Oswald? One's a jerk who jacks off, one jerked off Jack, one jacks off a jerk, and one's a jerk who offed Jack ."

"If my house was on fire and I could only save one thing I would save my Bible So I could burn it myself"

"Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it"

"How much skin does it take to cover a vagina? /sticks out tongue"

"I went to a zoo and it only had a dog in it.... It was a Shih Tzu"