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Joke of the Day

"Sayings always said with sarcasm. Any examples? I hate to say I told you so. No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so."

"The iPhone 7 ad has a catchy song... Hit the road Jack"

"So today I ripped off my testicles... I didn't want to risk creating any GMOs in the future."

"A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat."

"So, I hear they're naming a new paint after you! It's called Whore Red. Not very Bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily!!!"

"I don't know why everyone looks so stressed. I tweet and drive all the time. Oh...must be the beer."

"If Mayans could predict the future, why didn't they predict their extinction?"

"Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant? She blew them both."

"All my life I've refused to wear perfume. But then an aggressive perfume-salesperson knocked some scents into me."

"chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky."