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Joke of the Day

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotised 8 fellas but dropped his microphone on his foot.......and shouted ""Fuck me!"" What happened next will haunt me for life!!"

"It puts the vodka in its mouth or else it sees the ugly girls."

"The other day, a frog jumped underneath my lawmower.. I guess he was trying to *kermit* suicide."

"How did Camelot get its name? Guinevere liked to hump a lot."

"A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: ""Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."" Woman: ""Well, you've gotta force yourself."""

"2 fish in a tank, one fish looks at the other and say's ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What did the proctologist do to those poor people's butts? He rectum."

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit."

"Teach us About Absolute Zero! 0K!"