14276

Joke of the Day

"2 fish in a tank, one fish looks at the other and say's ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What's the opposite of critical thinking? Critical theory."

"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."

"I was going down on a quadriplegic.... When all of a sudden I tasted horse cum and thought, ""oh Grandma.... so THAT'S how you died."""

"I got myself into this mess, and I can get myself further into this mess."

"You've got a face even an Instagram filter couldn't fix."

"This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is funny and spontaneous', yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming."

"Covering your ears and screaming ""OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN"" is not appreciated by your coworkers. Apparently."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne usually waits until you're 13 before coming on your face."

"""This town ain't big enough for the two of us."" -Someone who is terrible at English, science, and geography."