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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Asian guy who was so terrible that nobody mourned his death? He was unbereaveable."

"I got a computer for my wife today. Best trade I ever made."

"[dude is just absolutely drowning in the ocean, lifeguard sits back and smiles] i love no save november"

"An Irish man walks on the street and ignores a bar... Muahahaha, like that's possible!"

"Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog"

"I'm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, tell them, I'm outstanding."

"All you people who chose ""The Real"" or ""Official"" before your Twitter handle really thought ahead of the game there. Well done, guys."

"A boy who couldn't hear, smell, taste or feel punched me in the head yesterday. I told him ""there was no need for senseless violence"""

"I watched a documentary on how ships are held together It was riveting."

"Boxers Last night as I was sitting on the edge of the bed gently pulling off my boxers, the wife said, ""You spoil those dogs!"""