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Joke of the Day

"idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school"

"I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind."

"<---- homeless romantic"

"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"

"This may be the wine talking but help he's drinking me, he's drinking me."

"Invisibility You just don't see it these days"

"The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings."

"Q: How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? A: Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door."

"one small step for man one giant step for a really small man"

"When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other? Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side."