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Joke of the Day

"A boy who couldn't hear, smell, taste or feel punched me in the head yesterday. I told him ""there was no need for senseless violence"""

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"A good time I met a girl at the bar and she said she'd show me a good time. So we went outside, and she ran the 100 meter dash in 10.53 seconds."
"[Chaperoning field trip] ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids. AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid."
"What do gay Japanese jocks give each other? Brojobs."
"Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?"
"What is Donald Trump's favourite nation? Discrimination."
"I'd go to church if they had Wi-Fi."
"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."
"Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes Mum I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class."
"What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Canta Plaus. Source: https://youtu.be/44aiB0vB36Y"