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Joke of the Day

"I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog."

"What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam"

"Why did the nigger walks into a bar? Because the cell doors was still locked"

"UDP Jokes The good thing about UDP jokes, is that I don't care if you get them."

"What happens when lawyers die? They lie still."

"""Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it"" [cut to: me wearing a toga and confusedly trying to conquer Gaul]"

"It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs Because they always take things literally."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question: Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it's the most important meal."

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!"